


Promise me it all be good

by lilybluee



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hoseok deserves a break and a hug, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-20 23:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15544071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilybluee/pseuds/lilybluee
Summary: Being closeted gay in a conservative country while constantly in the spotlight comes with its own set of struggles.Being closeted gay and in love with your bandmate is just straight up hell, and Hoseok wonders what deity he's angered to deserve this.





	Promise me it all be good

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from [Promise not to fall](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaSfjAIcGpQ) which I've listened to on repeat while writing this story.

 

Throughout his whole life, Hoseok would always find himself put in extremely unfortunate situations.

His path to becoming an idol and seizing himself a place in the harsh kpop industry is the most arduous and painful thing he’s ever had to endure in his life.

The fact that he had inconvenienced his family as well still jabs painfully at his heart, so every single day, the moment his eyes snap open and the fog clouding his mind slowly dissipates, he makes damn sure he shows their fans his gratefulness for getting him where he is, for giving him a chance to live his dream and be someone they can look up to.

And while Hoseok considers himself lucky to be able to do what he loves and to love what he does, life has a cruel way of crushing him, and constantly reminding him that he will always remain one of those unlucky folks.

Apparently, all the little luck he had ran out the moment he was declared a member of Monsta x.

Hoseok had to deal with body image issues, extreme weight loss, death threats, his grandmother’s passing, and the list goes on.

Unfortunate thing after unfortunate thing, he barely manages to catch his breath.

He can’t help but think the lack of wins until almost three years after their debut has to do his overflowing misfortune.

He wasn’t surprised when one day he woke up and discovered he fell for one of his bandmates, even less so when the same bandmate happens to be the straightest one amongst them.

While that may not be the most unfortunate thing he’s faced so far in life (No.mercy takes the number one slot), it still undeniably hinders his relationship with the said member, making him seem somewhat cold towards him when in reality he’s trying his hardest not to slip and do something he’ll deeply regret.

And also, it hurts.

He constantly wishes it’s just a crush, just a momentary infatuation that will eventually vanish and be replaced by genuine friendship.

But days go by, weeks, months, and Hoseok only falls deeper for him, only falls deeper in self hatred for ruining the one good thing life gave him besides his parents.   

He’s really pathetic, but that’s fine. No one needs to know as long as he keeps his mouth sealed shut and prevents his attraction from slipping.

As long as he cries his heart out in hiding for the things he yearns for but will never get, then he’ll be fine.

And even now, as he’s sprawled on their sofa in their living room, watching _Titanic_ with a kleenex box by his head and puffy teary eyes, he feels the knot in his chest unwinding for a bit, just for a bit, because at least his story is not as tragic as Jack and Rose’s.

At least, they’re both alive, so even if he never confesses to him and his feelings never get reciprocated, he’ll be fine.

As the movie gets closer to the end, Hoseok lets loose his tears and clutches tighter to his chest a soft teddy bear with a large body but really small head. It’s his favorite plushy, and he hopes the lovely monbebe who gifted it to him is doing great and eating well.

He must have dozed off for a bit, because the next moment he opens his eyes, the TV screen is black and Kihyun is gently shaking him awake.

“Hyung, wake up, you’ll catch a cold if you sleep here,” Kihyun says in a low voice while crouching by the sofa, his touch gentle and unhurried.

By the look of the dimly lit hallway and switched off light of the living room, everyone must already be asleep by now.

He groans as he sits up, and clutches his head at the expected headache hammering down his skull.

Kihyun, like an angel sent from heaven (when he’s not trying to be the devil sent from hell), passes him water and a pill to ease his headache. Hoseok looks at him with wonder, “how did you know?”

Kihyun shrugs and moves to fold the blanket Hoseok was covered up with. “I saw you watching Titanic earlier. We all know how that ends for you.”

“Oh,” is all he says before he swallows the pill, wishes Kihyun a goodnight and heads back to his shared room.

Hoseok thanks his lucky stars tomorrow is a day off. He can only imagine how swollen his eyes will be in the morning. His members are so gonna tease him for crying over a movie he’s seen an unhealthy amount of times.

It takes him a while to adjust to the darkness of the room, moving on tiptoes and avoiding stumbling into Hyunwoo’s bunk.

He sighs internally and rubs his swollen eyes, his heart still heavy in his chest but his body dry of tears.

He curls on himself and hides deeper in his blankets, feeling a serious urge to be held and hugged, to be comforted, to be reassured that absolutely nothing is wrong with him. Instead, the void in his soul just keeps expanding, his feelings pushing daggers deeper in his heart.

He turns on his back and watches Hyunwoo sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly open and chest rhythmically rising and falling.

He looks cute, his baby face a contrast to his massive body. Hoseok smiles wistfully, imagining himself in a world he can run his hands through Hyunwoo’s hair, feel his arms and toned stomach, kiss him goodmornings and goodnights, have Hyunwoo above him, holding his hand and taking him gently-

Hoseok snaps his eyes close and buries his head under his pillow.

He feels fucking terrible.

Even though their story was tragic, at least Jack and Rose had each other.

 

 

Hoseok spends the next morning buried still in his blankets, refusing to go out with Minhyuk and Kihyun to get new products for their skincare routine.

He slips instead to his studio and works on his new song that may or may not have been inspired by his life experiences driven by his shitty luck.

His studio will always remain his safe haven in which he can be fully himself, and Hoseok was grateful for having it.

It isn’t until some few hours later, when he made great progress on his work, that his stomach growls loudly from hunger it almost hurts. As he looks over his desk then back to his couch, searching for anything that will ease his stomach for now, his eyes land instead on his phone with the small bulb blinking blearily at him.

Hoseok frowns when he notices he missed several calls from Kihyun. His frown deepens as he reads a text sent to him some twenty minutes ago.

 

_**MonKihyun** _

_Come back to the dorm, we’re having lunch together._

With no second thoughts, Hoseok grabs his house keys, locks the studio behind him and sprints back to the dorm.

He already knows there’s no point in hurrying, but his heart still dampens at the sight of Jooheon washing the dishes and Hyunwoo helping out with wiping them dry and placing them back.

Kihyun and Minhyuk were drapped over each other on the sofa, watching whatever drama was on TV.

 “Why didn’t you get me from the studio?” he whines and slumps down on a chair, feeling betrayed that none of them cared enough to spare a few minutes and visit him in his studio.

It’s very rare for them to eat together a home cooked meal, and that fact stings really bad.

Kihyun gives him a blank stare, seeming absolutely done with him.

Jooheon is first to talk, “We thought you needed space, we didn’t want to disturb you while working.”

Hoseok hates to admit it, but Jooheon’s reasoning is logical because he does indeed dislike it when something gets in his way while his mind works in overdrive and the world is a blurry entity no longer relevant.

That doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

As he rests his head on his arms, dreading the process of waiting half an hour for ordered food to get to their dorm, a hand on his shoulder startles him, and he moves his head just to look up at Hyunwoo’s warm eyes.

“Kihyun saved your share in the fridge. I can heat it up for you if you want.” Hyunwoo’s smile is comforting, and Hoseok shakes from the familiar feeling of his heart lurching to his throat and back again.

He secretly pinches his thigh. “Yes, please.”

Hyunwoo, with his smile still intact, nods and moves to the fridge.

Hoseok almost misses the disdainful looks Minhyuk was throwing at him.

 

 

Later in the evening, Hoseok shuts firmly the door behind him and crawls up to his bed.

He’s alone because he just refused Hyunwoo’s suggestion to go out and have dinner together along with Hyungwon, and now that the silence has settled in his ears and the darkening sky is causing shadows to dance everywhere  in the room, he feels a little regret in his heart.

He isn’t sure why he refused, but something like prying on their ‘date’ when usually they go out alone made him instantly step back and politely decline the offer.

Even after almost half an hour of pointless staring into the void, Hoseok still feels shitty not even the thought of hitting the gym could get him back to a good mood.

He eyes his phone, temptation coursing through his veins, his hands itching to reach out and grab it, and he almost dismisses the idea until he remembers he hasn’t called home in a while, that while being four days.

The phone picks up at the second ring, and Hoseok is already smiling into his palm with his legs crossed and pillow crushed in his arms.

“Hello?”

His mother’s familiar gentle voice manages to do what he failed to do in the last couple days, to temporarily toss out his worries.

“I miss you mom,” he says in a small voice, as if rewinding back to the time he was still in elementary school, and his single concerns consisted of getting his homework done and achieving excellent grades.

“Hoseokkie baby I miss you too,” his mother says delightfully, “how have you been doing? Are you eating well? Are you getting enough sleep?”

Hoseok can already feel the tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “Yes mom, don’t worry about me, I’m doing great.” It isn’t a total lie. Financially speaking, their popularity is increasing and now their company is already planning another world tour. “What about you? Does your back still give you pain?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt as much. The medicines are doing a great job.”

“I’m glad.” Hoseok didn’t mean for his voice to crack, but talking to his mother is soothing and relieving some of his pain and it isn’t until now that he truly realizes how terribly he misses his family. He really can’t remember the last time he visited his hometown.

There was a hint of concern in her voice. “Is something wrong?”

“No no, I’m-I’m fine,” he stutters and fumbles with his sleeve to rub his eyes.

“Then why are you crying baby?”

Hoseok clutches tightly the phone in his hand. “I’ve just been stressed lately from work, there’s nothing to worry about.”

How he wishes he could pour everything out, to unseal the binds around his mouth and get whatever is eating him out, but Hoseok is still too scared to verbally admit his problem, and he also doesn’t want to unnecessarily worry his mother when she’s miles and miles away.

As if sensing whatever struggle he’s facing, his mother is quick to reassure him, “I will always love you Hoseokkie, you know that?”

“Yeah.”

“No matter how old you get, you will always be my baby boy and I will support whatever decision you make in your life.”

Hoseok plunges in his blankets and grips the phone with two shaky hands. “Mom, stop, you’re making me cry harder.”

There was an unmistakable screech that can only belong to a child and Hoseok winces. “Was that Irene? Is my brother already back from Japan?”

His mother mumbles something in the background before she addresses him again. “Yes, he’s been here for almost a week now. Irene is saying hi, she’s also destroying her toys and screaming for no reason, but that’s not important because she’s cute.”

She laughs and Hoseok chuckles along in the pitch black darkness of his room. Irene is his brother’s daughter after all.

“I’m glad your brother picked the right person for him.”

Hoseok sometimes forgets his brother’s chemistry with his wife and current partner is really great. At their first meeting, they had instantly connected with each other and gotten close in no time.

And no he isn’t jealous at all.

He almost chokes on his spit at his mother’s next words.

“Baby if you want I can find you a lovely husband too, there are a lot of good lads around the area.”

Hoseok half yells half sputters. “Mom! What the hell? What are you saying?”

Hoseok is definitely grateful for the fact his mother has already accepted his personal preferences, but this is still something he never imagined his parent could ever bring up.

“I’m joking… maybe.” There was a chuckle and Hoseok feels his face getting warm.

“Mom,”

She laughs, “I’m just joking baby. Of course I would love to see you happy, but it should never be on my terms or anyone else’s for that matter. Just know that you will always have a home here, so make sure to visit one of these days.”

“I’m definitely visiting once we get more days off.” Hoseok hears the front door creaking open, “I think I should end the call now, good night mom.”

“Good night Hoseokkie. Make sure to say hi and kiss the boys for me, love you.”

“Love you too.”

Hoseok puts his phone away and wraps the warm blankets around his body.

He sleeps very well that night.

 

 

In their local grocery store, Hoseok loses himself in the junk food aisle and fills the basket with all kinds of snacks and chips.

Junk food will always remain the one reliable thing that’ll give him any resemblance to a good fulfilling life, even if he has to sacrifice his health for it.

“Isn’t this… too much?” Hyunwoo furrows his brows as he eyes their basket, some sort of body wash in his hand.

Hoseok presses his lips together. “Maybe, but we literally eat like bulls, so I think nothing will go to waste.”

“If you insist.”

Hoseok cheers internally and follows after Hyunwoo to the checkout.

He didn’t expect Hyunwoo to tag along to the grocery store when he made the suggestion, and now that they are out alone, shopping for home supplies (mostly junk food), Hoseok can’t shake off the domestic vibes he’s been getting the whole time.

As they walk back home through the empty streets, light poles illuminating the way, Hoseok subconsciously starts skipping down the street while watching the vast night sky littered with stars.

He halts as his eyes catch Hyunwoo’s amused face, his own smile showing. “What?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head and moves the grocery bag to the other hand. “Now I see why they call you a bunny.”

Hoseok pouts as a defense mechanism. “Don’t be a bully Hyunwoo _hyung_.”

“It’s cute though.” Hyunwoo laughs and keeps walking, completely oblivious to Hoseok’s flustered state who was totally not expecting it.

It’s moments like these that Hoseok’s yearning intensifies and his hopes skyrocket only to tragically crash afterwards when reality face plant him into solid ground.

He sighs into the cold air, skipping again just for the heck of it.

After some moments of silent walking and hearing the bustling city retreating to its short slumber, Hoseok eyes Hyunwoo’s unoccupied hand hanging by his side, swinging back and forth.

Without thinking, he reaches forward to hold it in his own, feeling Hyunwoo’s slightly calloused palm rubbing against his fingers, and successfully stopping him in the middle of the empty street. 

Hyunwoo looks at him questionably, but still not drawing back.

Even in this chilly night, Hyunwoo’s hand is warm, veins protruding through the skin, perfectly aligning with Hoseok’s pale cold one as he intertwines their fingers together.

He looks up at Hyunwoo who, to Hoseok’s surprise, stares at him with soft kind eyes.

Hyunwoo tilts his head. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I hold your hand? Mines are freezing.” Hoseok can’t explain the burning in his throat or his blurry vision.

Hyunwoo smiles. “Of course.”

During their way back, Hoseok kept ignoring the few tears that slipped, blaming them on the wind.

 

 

Hoseok sincerely believes he’s quite discrete when it comes to his attraction to Hyunwoo. He rarely makes any heart eyes at him, only steals glances here and there, and does his best not to react whenever discussions about dating and relationships come up.

He comes to the conclusion that he isn’t really as subtle as he initially thought when one day, Minhyuk corners him outside the dorm by straight out pushing him against a wall, hard.

It takes Hoseok a while to recover from the initial shock of having one of Minhyuk’s deadly glares on him when usually they’re filled with warmth and love.

Minhyuk’s forehead is wrinkled in a deep frown. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing _hyung_?” The last word comes out sounding more like an insult than any term of politeness.

Hoseok just stares and stares, mind completely blank.

“W-What do you mean?”

Minhyuk’s frown gets somehow deeper. Hoseok just now realizes that he might be in some really deep shit.

“Stop playing dumb, I see the way you keep staring at Hyunwoo hyung or the way you keep weirdly touching him when you think no one is looking. Did you seriously think no one will notice?” Minhyuk spits out as his voice echoes throughout the dark empty street.

All of a sudden, panic rises in Hoseok’s body, and his legs start uncontrollably shaking only the wall is keeping him grounded. He’s just living one of his worst nightmares, and he can feel his heart pumping furiously in his chest.

He clears his throat. “Minhyuk, it’s not really what you think.”

Minhyuk looks at him in disbelief. “Then what is it? What could possibly explain the sickening things you’ve being doing?”

Hoseok sobers immediately and furrows his brows. “Why are you acting like such a homophobic asshole?”

“Because we live in a fucking homophobic country!” Minhyuk practically yells. “Open your goddamn eyes hyung, this is not just about you. I personally don’t give a shit about what you do in your free time, but this does not involve you alone. This is literally Monsta x’s future we’re talking about. People will find the simplest things to drag us and fans will immediately drop our asses if the smallest hint to any of us not being straight gets out.”

Hoseok at that moment hates Minhyuk for being right. He fucking loathes him for being right. Suddenly there’s just too much anger filling his whole being, fueling on despair and hurt feelings.

“Don’t be a selfish prick hyung, think about our future as a team and stop being self centered.”

Hoseok doesn’t say anything, he just tries to slip and go back to the dorm before anyone comes out to look for them.

Before Hoseok can reach the doorknob, he completely freezes at Minhyuk’s next words.

“Plus he’s your best friend, it’s _disgusting_.”

This proved to be the last straw when Hoseok completely loses control over his body. Before he can think it through, his fist connects with Minhyuk’s face sending the boy crashing to the floor.

It takes a while for Minhyuk to react, clearly in shock at being hit by a best friend, but then he’s already on his feet, colliding head first into Hoseok.

From then on everything is just a blur of kicks and punches and screams coming from undisclosed sources, adrenaline wild in their veins. Hoseok is no longer there, having an out of body experience that he snaps out of when Hyunwoo’s strong arms lock around his biceps, trying to restrict his movements.

Hoseok struggles some, feeling like a raging beast released from its cage. He completely stills though when Hyunwoo shouts in a deep angry voice.

“Calm the fuck down!”

An angry Hyunwoo is a very rare and very scary Hyunwoo. It was no surprise that silence completely reigned, Minhyuk no longer struggling from escaping Jooheon and Kihyun’s hold around him.

Few seconds pass with only their ragged breaths filling the silence and an extremely thick tension sitting on Hoseok’s skin.

With the adrenaline fleeting his system, pain shoots through his body, his thigh especially pulsing. Hoseok can already anticipate all the bruises tainting his pale skin by early morning. He can feel blood from his busted lip trailing down his chin.

Jooheon and Kihyun guide Minhyuk inside with Kihyun already scolding him, calling him stupid and disrespectful for hitting his hyung, and Minhyuk retorting that he hit him first.

Hyunwoo hesitantly unlocks his arms around Hoseok, which seemed to be a very bad decision when Hoseok’s legs completely give out and he collapses to the floor on hands and knees.

Hoseok glimpses up when Hyunwoo crouches beside him, looking upset but mostly concerned, his own blood trailing down his temple from a cut he seemed to get from their brawl. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Hoseok croaks out frankly.

_It’s disgusting_

His blood drips and he watches it bleeding through the asphalt.

 

 

It turned out Hoseok had sprained his ankle and Minhyuk got a black eye, but they both got in serious trouble for ruining each other’s appearances, and now because of their recklessness, Monsta x’s activities will halt for the period it takes for them to recover.

Hoseok honestly couldn't care less.

Just as he anticipated, bruises in various shades of yellow, blue and purple fill his thighs and chest, but thankfully his face hasn’t sustained any injury except for his busted lip.

What truly sustained serious injuries is their team’s dynamic. Hoseok no longer have late night snakes with Minhyuk. He no longer hangs out with any of the members and rarely eats together with them. He closes on himself in his studio and refuses to come out not even the coaxing of Kihyun or Changkyun’s whining can get him out.

Days pass, and Hoseok gets even more detached until Hyunwoo finally steps in before their managers can intervene.

“Please talk to me Hoseok, tell me what’s wrong.” Hyunwoo’s voice is barely above a whisper in the darkness of their room. Hyungwon snores softly. “You’re worrying me.”

In Hoseok’s bunk, Hyunwoo’s hand lingers on Hoseok's head, gently running his fingers through the damp hair. Hoseok can’t help leaning into the touch. It’s really comforting.

Everything about Hyunwoo is comforting, from his kind beautiful eyes to his gentle hands and caring heart as big as his shoulders.

Hyunwoo feels like home and Hoseok aches for not being able to call it _his_ home.

So with a blurry vision, he looks into Hyunwoo’s full of concern eyes and says, “I’m sorry, I still can’t talk about it.”

_I’m sorry for being this way,_

_I’m sorry,-_

 

 

With their comeback getting close and close, they spend the majority of their time trying to perfect their choreography and be more in sync.

Minhyuk’s black eye has mostly faded, now makeup can easily cover it. Hoseok’s ankle has also gotten better, but some bruises are still staining his body.

While Hoseok no longer avoids his members, he still can’t fully be around Minhyuk.

_Stop being self centered_

_It’s disgusting_

No matter what he does or how hard he tries to see things in a positive light, Minhyuk’s words still weight heavily on his consciousness, not because they’re rude or mean, but simply because they hold truth in them and convey what Hoseok tries hard to ignore in reality.

In the end, Minhyuk did indeed apologize for what he said, looking remorseful and apologetic, and Hoseok didn’t have the heart to stay mad at him.

One particular day though, as all of them get ready for their intense dance practices, Hoseok gets struck with a wave of dizziness so strong he has Hyungwon steady him on his feet.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just lost my footing.”

Hyungwon reluctantly goes back to his position and Hoseok ignores the heavy concerned stares of the members.

This day is really not his day. He keeps making mistakes that are easily avoidable, stumbles on his own feet, and has everyone stop for what feels like the umpteenth time just so they can go over the dance again.

Hyunwoo is quick to call for a break. He moves to Hoseok’s side and before he can get anything out, Hoseok is already apologizing. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

Hyunwoo isn’t angry that Hoseok keeps messing up, he’s just really concerned.

“Do you want me to call the day off?”

Hoseok wants to refuse, but he’s falling, and rapidly so, and then he’s panting and trembling in Hyunwoo’s arms who thankfully managed to cushion his head from the impact with the ground.

Hoseok isn’t feeling right. He’s shaking and sweating, his body indecisive on the right temperature. Hyunwoo is already barking orders at his members to get help and to stop panicking, but Hoseok’s ringing ears can barely pick up their voices.

Everything is foggy and blurry, like the short imagery of a dream he’s desperately trying to remember the details to.

Darkness is already engulfing him, and is that Hyunwoo calling his name? He isn’t too sure.

Why does he sound too panicked? He’s just taking a short break.

It should be fine, right? He’s just napping for a bit.

Hyunwoo will definitely forgive him.

 

 

The next time Hoseok comes back to it, the sky is dark and the outside world is sleeping. The smell of antiseptics and _sickness_ hits his nostrils, and Hoseok already knows he’s in one of his least favorite places on earth.

He’s still struggling to remember what exactly unfolded and made him end up in here, but then his mind starts providing him with bits and pieces of the moment his body failed him and he collapsed to the ground, and it doesn’t take long for guilt to settle on his bones because he’s sure he has his members worried.

He exhales loudly and almost jumps out of his skin when something by his side shuffles and grazes his thigh.

Hoseok ignores the sound of his heart monitor going up.

Hyunwoo looks tired. He also looks extremely relieved and so soft with his tousled hair and reassuring smile.

“Oh, thank heavens you’re okay.”

Hyunwoo moves his chair closer to Hoseok’s bed and starts petting his hair. “They say it’s malnutrition and lack of sleep, so you should be able to get out of here by early morning.”

Hoseok nods, not trusting his voice.

“The members really wanted to be here, but the managers sent them back home. Thankfully, they allowed me to stay the night.”

Hyunwoo is still smiling and even more comforting. Hoseok swallows through the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps out and Hyunwoo is already shushing him.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, just focus on recovering and getting enough sleep. That should be your priority.”

Hyunwoo gently adjusts the warm blankets around Hoseok’ body so every part of him is warmly covered.

Just as he’s moving towards the door, Hoseok does something that he swore to himself to never attempt or even bring up.

Maybe it’s foolishness, or maybe this hospital trip made him realize how truly fleeting human life is, but Hoseok confesses.

“I love you.”

The rush of relief that comes with letting the thing that’s been weighting down his heart for some few years now shocks him. Whatever the outcome is, Hoseok will definitely not regret his decision.

Hoseok clutches the blankets tighter around him. His heart monitor is exceptionally loud in the deafening silence.

Hyunwoo’s expression is hard to read. Something like apprehension crosses his face as he reclaims his seat by Hoseok’s bed.

“I know,” Hyunwoo finally gets out. Hoseok widens his eyes, palms sweating and pulse jumping in his throat.

“I wish I could say it back.” Hyunwoo reaches under the blankets and holds his hand. “I wish I could say it back Hoseok, I really do.”

_But our country doesn’t allow it_

_Our situation doesn’t allow it_

_Nothing is in our favor_

There’s no need for these reasons to be spoken up. Hoseok knows all too well what kind of reality they live in.

It doesn’t mean the horrible feeling seizing his chest hurt any less.

Hoseok tries his hardest to hold it in, but a few tears still escape.

“But,” Hyunwoo squeezes his hand and cups his cheek, “if you can wait for me, maybe in a couple years, probably longer, perhaps things might be different then. Perhaps then we'll get to be unapologetically ourselves without constantly thinking about the consequences of our actions.”

Hoseok rarely, if never, sees Hyunwoo this close to tears. For the first time in these past three years, it occurs to him that maybe he’s not the only one in their team going through these internal struggles.

Maybe, just maybe, making the thing he yearns for a reality isn’t something too far-fetched.

And so with his overflowing tears and renewed resolve brimming in his chest, he sits up, careful not to tug on the IV, and says with confidence, “I’d wait an eternity for you and more.”

Hyunwoo’s lips curl up in a smile and Hoseok’s heart swells in his chest.

Even if they can’t have each other the way they want, there’s still a strong string of hope they can hold on to, and that’s truly all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes life doesn't grant us what we want, so hope is the only thing that drives us forward.  
> Thank you for being here and for taking the time to read this story.  
> Please take care :]


End file.
